Dealing with grief is tough. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. How people cope is different for every single one of us. Many people have questions when a loved one dies. Here we aim to cover a few of the most frequently asked questions.
How do I appear strong for the others around me?
First of all, you do not need to shoulder all of the burdens yourself. Secondly, the outward display of emotion is not a sign of weakness or that you can’t cope with the feelings you have. Everyone affected by the death of a loved one must deal with that individual. Suppressing feelings for the purpose of being strong for them will not help them to deal with the pain and it certainly won’t help you to deal with your grief.
The passing of a loved one is time for family and friends to come together and support each other to deal with the sorrow. By showing your true feelings you can help them as well as yourself.
I just want these feelings to go away. Can I ignore them and get on with my life?
No, suppressing feelings just prolongs your recovery and will make healing longer and harder. You must accept it is necessary to face your grief and deal with it head-on.
Does it mean I don’t care if I don’t cry a the funeral or afterwards?
We all deal with emotion in different ways. Many people cry and that’s fine but not all people show emotion by crying. Just because you don’t cry it doesn’t mean you don’t feel sadness as intensely as someone that does shed tears. It just means that you deal with it in a different and there is nothing wrong with that.
How long should grief last?
Sadly, there is no time frame for grieving and is different from person to person. The most efficient way of dealing with and confronting it.
Don’t put yourself under pressure to deal with grief within a certain amount of time. Take each day as it comes whilst dealing with the way you feel head-on.
Can children understand death and should I talk about it with them?
Children are much more understanding and resilient than we think. Be clear and keep things simple when speaking to them about death. There are many marvellous resources available online that can point you in the right direction. See the list below.
Do I have to tell everyone that someone has died?
No, but avoiding this can make things more difficult and result in feelings resurfacing.
It’s true that lots of people asking questions can be overwhelming. Our advice is to tell who you want to know and who needs to know. Your employer should support you get back to work and lighten the load at a difficult time. Family members and close friends can all offer support but in the end, it’s up to you who you tell.
Who can support me to deal with grief?
Many people find that they need some help to get through the most difficult times. Thankfully this assistance is quickly available. There are lots of astounding services that understand how you feel and can help you heal.
Listed below are a few links to local support services. If none of these work for you a simple google search will throw up more options for you to look at.
If you have more questions or would like answers to different questions, please feel free to leave a comment below or contact our friendly team.
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